Relationship to oneself..

Vendula Kalinova
Jun 7
4 min read

Updated: Jun 22

The most important relationship we can have in this world is the one with ourselves.

We are often so entangled in our relationships with others that we seldom take time to analyze the relationship we have with ourselves. Many of us exert so much effort to please others, to accommodate, to give and to love - just to deplete our source of energy. We give so much of ourselves away to control our surroundings, earn our worth, and ultimately somehow justify our existence.

Why do we feel we must earn our place under the sun?

As we age, our mind matures along the way and our heart begins to find value where it has alluded us before. We may experience the need for introspection; we reflect and begin to reach for the deepest part of ourselves. We seek answers and search to deepen our self-awareness. We need to understand more, to know more, to live more. We discover that when we invest in developing a genuine relationship with ourselves, we hold less importance toward the vein, and we learn to appreciate knowledge as we begin to harvest wisdom.

Photo Credits: Meditation by Microgen

Solitude..

While surrounding ourselves with friends, family, community, and like-minded is of the essence, spending time in solitude allows us to see the world through the lens of pensiveness. We are able to explore self-analysis in a way we cannot so, when in the company of another. In today's ever-moving world; it is especially important that we give ourselves the permission to set aside time for privacy, to withdraw and to re-charge.

Carving out space for ourselves; unapologetically so, allows us to reflect, and meditate on the purpose of our existence. Good, bad, sad, or happy; it allows us to imprint landmarks on our journey with meaning. While this is a fundamental part of growth, it does come with some "growing pains". Time alone impels us to confront our deepest emotions and often this can provoke a sense of anxiety and discomfort within us. This takes place because we are exposed to the raw version of ourselves and often; this is simply an unknown territory to us. We can easily feel bewildered because we have become accustomed to masking our emotions with endless distractions.

The space carved to ourselves, calls for an authentic solitude where outward forces are no longer an option as a form of distraction. One where we seek to relate, not to avoid. We can then recharge, replenish, refresh our frame of mind, and create space for new energy. A space where answers and new perspectives can reach us. Our previously constricted views will level with more flexibility. A new outlook opens up new destinations on our journey and will inevitably be followed by tokens of discovery. As we seek expansion, we are inclined to tend to our self-care and maintain the sacred connection we have created. We are naturally inspired as opposed to motivated to engage in healthier activities. Whether this is exercising, meditation, books, hobbies, or surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals; we seek to preserve the healthy part of ourselves. We develop self-reliance and therefore our self-trust rises. We begin to value ourselves, our time, and those around us in profound new ways.

Time in solitude is a building block for intimate connection to the deeper parts of ourselves. The parts that are often hidden behind the veil of distractions. When uncovered, self-love is what there lies beneath. We have an opportunity to become our own friend, be kind to ourselves, and to give ourselves the hug we often need.

Photo Credits: by Andbjo

It not only gives us the opportunity to connect with our soul but also the divine power within us. As we experience peace within, we no longer feel as though we are alone. The sense of peace comes from being aligned with our higher-self and therefore being one with the Universe.

When we are aligned, we gain access to intuition as the portal between us, and the higher consciousness opens. Our mind becomes lucid enough to download information we were unable to receive otherwise. We are then inspired to ask the right questions. What makes us happy? How can we make better choices? How can we develop healthier habits? How can we sustain our practice? How can we remain inspired? How can we uplift ourselves and others? How can we reach our full potential? Time alone serves as a retreat that orients us back to ourselves and towards the right answers. Building the practice of self-care, making healthy choices, and building new habits are paramount to our overall health. When we tend to our mental health specifically, our body has no choice but to follow.

Photo Credits: by Dodotone

So, what happens when our well-being thrives? We gain the generosity to shine our light, to give, and to serve those around us. We can safely return to the stresses of everyday life with a surplus of energy. It allows us to cope in a healthy manner when confronted with the sharp rays of life. Not only so, but it allows us to feel rested, calm, and centered. Therefore, we are less reactive as we contour our thoughts in the direction of what truly matters and learn to trust ourselves.

As we lead with a sense of purpose, our mind naturally expands, and our body therefore prospers with health and energy to follow the map within us to the life that is worth living.

"We no longer wish to escape ourselves. We simply just wish to be ourselves!

This is where happiness takes place.."

~ Vendula Kalinova